New Video Blog Series

Hosted by David Gibson at Elevationisamust.com

HYHH kicks off the first episode of our new video blog series. This series will cover any and all topics related to mental health. Looking for a healthy dose of tips and nuggets to overcome your mental health issues follow our video series by
1. Subscribe to our Youtube Channel at youtube.com/healinghiddenhurts
2. Subscribe to our Monthly Newsletter, Click here
3. Follow us on twitter @healinghiddenhu or facebook.com/healinghiddenhurts
4. Visiting our website at healingyourhiddenhurts.com

Episode 1: Transitioning from Foster Care to Adulthood
If you struggle in this area, we want to hear your story. Submit it to hccnquestions@gmail.com and your story could be featured on Healing Conversations with Camishe Nunley and Nathan McGuire Talk RadioShow. Get expert opinions and feedback live. Check out our guests this month on HCCN by clicking here.

Episode 1: http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=iHxsLb84F0s

 

For more information on psychotherapy services contact us at info@healingyourhiddenhurts.com or visit healingyourhiddenhurts.com and schedule an appointment today!

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Stress Reduction: Is It Really Possible?

Stress Reduction: Is it Possible?
By: Beth Willhouse Goodrich

Stress – unfortunately it is a word that too many people understand. We live in a society where stress seems to be the norm because so many things that cause stress are encouraged or even expected. Today people are expected to always be willing to do more – more work, serve on more committees, enroll their children in more activities. Enough, already!! We need to take a step back and realize that we are human and all humans’ have limits.

People who know me well, know one of my favorite words is “boundaries”. Knowing your boundaries and respecting them is a big stress reliever. It will also help with your self – esteem! When someone asks you to serve on one more committee in which you don’t have time, give yourself permission to say “no”. When you are feeling overwhelmed, give yourself permission to turn your cell phone on mute and take a break. I promise the world will not end!

When you find yourself feeling stressed, pause and really think about what is causing your stress and then determine what you can do to alleviate it. Some things will always be out of your control. However if you try, you can think of things to improve the situation. For example, if you agreed to host an event and you feel overwhelmed by it, ask for help or scale down the event. That can at least take away some of the pressure and reduce your stress.

According to WebMD, other things you can do to reduce stress are meditate, breathe deeply, be present (slow down and only focus on one thing), reach out (talk to someone), tune in to your body (try to determine where/how stress affects your body), and decompress (especially focus on the places where your body is affected).

To find out more ways you can reduce stress, I recommend a stress reduction workshop and/or therapy. At Healing Your Hidden Hurts, we are here to help! Contact us at 888.349.1116 or http://www.healingyourhiddenhurts.com to schedule your first appointment and to learn more about our September 8, 2014 Stress Reduction workshop.
htttp://www.web.md.com/balance/stress-management/stress-management-causes-of-stress

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Sustaining a Successful Marriage: Possible or Not?

“Love and Marriage”

Tips for Sustaining a Successful Marriage

By:  Jenn Stepic M.A.

The vows were read, the rice was tossed, and the flower bouquet was caught.  The happy couple were now husband and wife.  What would sustain this duo?  How could they create a satisfying and successful marriage?

In a society were divorce is an unfortunate and common occurrence, many couples are seeking a solution to maintaining a meaningful and loving relationship.  John Gottman, Ph.D, a prominent psychologist and marriage researcher outlines the features of prosperous relationships in his book, “The Seven Principles for Making Marriage Work” (Tartakovsky, 2012).

So what does Dr. Gottman suggest to both young and old love birds?  “Turn toward each other instead of away” (Tartakovsky, 2012).  Here Gottman encourages romance to be more about the everyday acts of love, rather than material goods.  “Let your partner influence you” (Tartakovsky, 2012).  The love doctor prescribes that couples work as a team, as they take into account each other’s feelings and viewpoints.  “Nurture your fondness and admiration” (Tartakovsky, 2012).  Gottman’s exercise entitled, “I appreciate,” has partners record positive characteristics of their spouse, which should then be shared with one another.

These are just a few of the tools couples can utilize when creating a loving and lasting relationship.  If you and your partner are struggling with marital conflict and discord, therapy can offer you a safe and unbiased place to improve your connection.

Tartakovsky, M. (2012). 7 Research-Based Principles for Making Marriage Work. Psych Central. Retrieved on July 22, 2014, from http://psychcentral.com/blog/archives/2012/01/08/7-research-based-principles-for-making-marriage-work/

 

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The Power of Fear

The Power of Fear

By Terri L Cady

“Fear is not real. It is a product of thoughts you create. Do not misunderstand me. Danger is very real. But fear is a choice.” Will Smith, After Earth

We all know the feeling of being afraid. First your heart begins to race; your breathing becomes labored and heavy, while feelings of dread wash over you preparing for the worst. Of all our emotions fear is the most potent one of them. It controls the steps we take, keeps us from making changes in our life, while keeping us locked in a perpetual cycle of being stuck, unable to move to the next phase in life.

Stephen King is one of the most famous horror/ suspense writers. As of today he has sold over 350 million novels, many which have been adapted into films and miniseries, and continues to write of some the best frightening novels of all times. In1973, However King’s fear of not being good enough almost stopped him from becoming who he is today. King had thrown an early draft of the novel into the trash after becoming discouraged with his progress writing about a teenage girl with psychic powers. His wife retrieved the manuscript and encouraged him to finish it. Stephen King’s first novel Carrie was accepted by publishing house Doubleday. What if that manuscript never would have been completed? What if King’s fear kept him from achieving greatness? The world would have never experienced his true gift of writing. One of my favorite quotes is found in King’s novel Different Seasons that states, “Fear can hold you prisoner. Hope can set you free.” This statement spoke volumes to me. It is Ok to be afraid, but we cannot let fear rule our lives. Fear puts walls around people, and shackles us down by thinking we cannot change our lives. Whether it be the fear of the economy or stepping out of our comfort zone many people remain in relationships and jobs not suited for their personality. Waking up in the morning is more like a sentence than a blessing. The key to breaking free is hope. We do not have to let fear rule our lives, stifle our dreams, or keep us prisoners of negativity or mediocrity.

Change can be very fear-provoking, but rewarding as well. Taking that first step towards change, taking the leap of faith and replacing the power of fear with hope, can open so many opportunities. Here at HHH we will take that first step with you on your journey to the next chapter of your story. Talking to a therapist can help one explore ways to reach your true potential and overcome fear once and for all.

So let’s take that first step together. Contact Healing Hidden Hurts at 888.349.1116 to schedule an appointment today.

http://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Stephen_King

http://www.goodreads.com/quotes/830842-fear-is-not-real-the-only-place-that-fear-can

 

 

 

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Unlocking Your Dreams: Living Life to Your Fullest Potential

Unlocking your dreams: Living life to your fullest potential!

In her book The Artist’s Way, Julia Cameron writes, “I remember sitting in a hotel room twenty years ago with two then-little-known directors, Brian De Palma and Steven Spielberg. Spielberg was talking about a film he longed to make about the UFO phenomenon. There was scant support for the project and Spielberg was discouraged – although the project itself excited him. What to do? De Palma encouraged him to follow his heart and make that piece of art. That movie became Close Encounters of the Third Kind.”

What if Steven Spielberg would have remained discouraged? What if Brian De Palma would not have encouraged him to follow his heart? Going out on a limb, being creative and following your heart can feel impractical and maybe even really scary. So often we hear of people going into their family business, choosing a life path based on their parents’ encouragement or insistence or not following a dream because it seems foolish. However, if we follow someone else’s dream for ourselves or deny a part of ourselves, we may be left feeling empty, depressed, bored or not really fulfilled. We end up ignoring our God given gifts.

Holocaust survivor, Victor Frankl once said, “Everyone has his own specific vocation or mission in life… Therein he cannot be replaced, nor can his life be repeated. Thus, everyone’s task is as unique as is his specific opportunity to implement it.” Do you feel you are following your mission in life? What have you thought about wanting to do but you find yourself ignoring it? Is it because you do not feel you have the time, money, courage, support, etc., etc., etc. to do it? Too often people push these questions out of their mind but find themselves feeling unfulfilled with life.

Often there are underlying issues which keep people from being able to live life to their fullest. Fear can stop people in their tracks. Maybe they are afraid people will reject or laugh at their idea or even worse reject or laugh at them. It can be very beneficial to talk to someone to sort through these roadblocks.

If you are struggling with unanswered questions, doubts, or insecurities regarding a new direction your life should take, therapy can be the answer to your search for support. Contact Healing Hidden Hurts at 888.349.1116 to schedule your first appointment.

 

Cameron, J. (1992). The Artist’s Way: A Spiritual Path to Higher Creativity. New York, NY: Jeremy P. Tarcher/Putnam a member of Penguin Putnam Inc.

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Ignite Your Light

“Ignite Your Light”

Exploring Burnout Syndrome
By: Jenn Stepic M.A.

​There once was a girl named Jane, whose overzealous nature led to a career in medicine. During her school years, Jane could always be found at the top of her class, impressing the university scholars and her peers. Soon, Jane landed her dream job at a well-known hospital. As years passed, Jane’s enthusiasm dwindled and her co-workers could see, she had lost her luster. Her mornings were met with exhaustion and dread. Jane’s staff meetings were accompanied with cynical remarks and pessimism. Instead of feeling a sense of accomplishment at each day’s end, she felt ineffective and useless. Simply put, Jane was burnt out.
​Just like Jane, many career professionals are met with similar signs and symptoms of burnout.

Burnout was first devised in the 1970s and was used to describe the negative effects of extreme stress and the high standards that helping professionals often face. Today, burnout has the ability to affect all people, from housewives to famous celebrities (2013). For a genuine burnout victim, their happiness, quality of life, and health may be compromised (Carter, 2012).

Instead of turning complacent, one can incorporate various strategies to overcome this monster. Use the weekend as a time to rejuvenate oneself from the stress experienced during the work week. Sleeping in, eating right, and engaging in stress reducing activities can give one the break they are craving. Bringing work home can light the match that ignites burnout. So avoid communication that involves work related duties, such as emails, phone calls, and text messages. If one finds these tools ineffective, packing one’s bags for a vacation to the tropics could also be helpful (Carter, 2012).
​If the morning alarm clock still seems more like a sentence than an opportunity, you may be experiencing severe burnout. Talking to a therapist can help one explore ways to rediscover oneself.

Contact Healing Hidden Hurts at 888.349.1116 to schedule an appointment.
Carter, S. (2012). Where Do You Fall on the Burnout Continuum?
(2013). What is Burnout Syndrome?

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The Winter Slump!

Holiday Blues and The Winter Slump

It’s back!

The days have gotten shorter and the nights exceedingly colder.

Students around the country cram in as much information into their heads before final exams and semester breaks.  Applications for graduate school and jobs are nervouslylooked over and finally turned in.  Mothers and fathers work to prepare and brace themselves for a huge wave ofkids returning home after years with an empty nest. Friends are reunited after attending different schools.  Families from far away places finally come together to share love and create memories with one another.  Decorative lights come up and battle the dark persistent cold outside.  The holiday season is known for bringing more joy into our lives.

 

And yet, the cold introduces a certain solemnness despite the celebrations and merriment frequently observed alongside it.  Winter inspires an urge to stay indoors, to feelmore comfortable, whether at home at the expense ofhaving company or snuggled under a thick blanket in front of a burning fire.  And sometimes these urges start to feel more necessary than usual, taking over our days and interfering with our lives.

 

Seasonal affective disorder (SAD), or winter depression has been shown to strongly affect those living farthest from the equator and is also more prevalent among women than men (National, 2012).  SAD is characterized by recurrentdepressive episodes during specific seasons such as the late fall and winter.  Symptoms most commonly include (but are not limited to) oversleeping, daytime fatigue, lethargy, increased eating, weight gain, hopelessness, lack of interest in social activities, and even suicidal thoughts.

 

If you or a friend may be exhibiting these characteristics it may be helpful to explore a knowledgeable resource and find an effective treatment plan.

 

All too often people we care about lose sight of the warmth and light blessed in their life when confronted by the constant cold and darkness surrounding their days.  Therapy can be the small nudge to keep you or a loved one floating during troubled waters.

 

If you notice someone who has started to miss class or work regularly it may beneficial to touch base.  For further information contact Healing Hidden Hurts at 888.349.1116.

 

National Alliance On Mental Illness (NAMI). Seasonal Affective Disorder (SAD). (2012, December). Retrieved from http://www.nami.org/Template.cfm?Section=By_Illness&Template=/ContentManagement/ContentDisplay.cfm&ContentID=23051

Rosenthal, N. E., Sack, D. A., Gillin, J. C., Lewy, A. J., Goodwin, F. K., Davenport, Y., … & Wehr, T. A. (1984). Seasonal affective disorder: a description of the syndrome and preliminary findings with light therapy. Archives of General Psychiatry, 41(1), 72.

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Resolutions: Are They Possible ?

​With the New Year upon us, many people’s thoughts turn to New Year’s Resolutions.  Almost half of all Americans make resolutions every year; however, most fail to accomplish what they resolved to do (Journal of Clinical Psychology, 2012).  Whether you are looking to lose weight/get healthy (which is typically the most popular resolution), organize your home, save money, or any other thing that you would like to change in your life, there are ways to improve your chances of success.

​When embarking upon change, it is important to be clear and specific about what you want to change and what steps you may take to create this change.  A task centered model approach to your resolutions, where you take a larger problem and break it down into manageable tasks, allows for quicker feedback and an easier sense of accomplishment, which may help with success (Reid & Fortune, 2002; Epstein & Brown, 2002).  To take this approach, first define what your goals are and where you are currently.  For example, if you want to lose weight, what is your current weight, what is your goal weight, and what is a reasonable amount of weight to lose every week?  Furthermore, define how you will track your progress.  Obviously with the aforementioned weight loss example, you could weigh yourself; however, there may be other outcomes that can also keep you motivated to continue.  For example, you could also measure yourself, pay attention to the tightness of your clothes, take before and after pictures, etc.  It is acceptable to have more than one measure of success, especially if it helps keep you motivated.  As you are establishing your goals, make sure they are clear, measurable, and written down.  Still following our weight loss example, a clear, measurable goal may look like this:  By June 1, 2014, I will be 20 pounds lighter.  This will be accomplished by losing approximately one pound per week.

​Once your goals are clearly established in broad terms, think about what it will take to accomplish those goals.  Ideally you want to come up with small tasks that can be accomplished quickly and build upon those to achieve the greater goal.  To do this, you may want to brainstorm how the goal can be accomplished and what tasks can get you to that point.  Then clearly define those tasks and how you will work toward them.  For example, with weight loss, most people know that you need to eat healthy foods and exercise, but what exactly does that mean?  First go back to where you looked at your current state.  Are you eating breakfast, are you drinking water, are you eating fruits/vegetables, are you eating too many sweets/fats, are you completely sedentary or do you get a little exercise, etc.? Pick only one or two items to begin with and work with those.  Let’s say you want to eat more vegetables and get more exercise.  Let’s say that at the beginning (baseline) you are only eating about one vegetable four days a week and that you do not exercise at all.  Graduated, manageable tasks pursued may look like this:

Week One:

Eating Goals:  Eat at least one vegetable every day this week.

Exercise Goals:  Walk at least a total of 30 minutes this week.

Week Two:

Eating Goals: Eat two vegetables daily for at least two out of seven days and at least one vegetable on the remaining days.

Exercise Goals:  Walk at least a total of 60 minutes this week.

Continue adding achievable amounts to these tasks as necessaryand when you have clearly established habits with these tasks (3-5 weeks), pick another task or two to work on.  Remember to track progress, preferably written/noted in a place where you can look at it often and see your progress.  Share your goals with others if you need additional accountability and encouragement.  Lastly, reward yourself.  Set up rewards at the beginning so that you have something more to look forward to than the final goal.  Make the rewards pertinent to you and your enjoyment.  For example, in week one, you ate vegetables every day and walked for 45 minutes, maybe your reward would be a pedicure.  As with the tasks and goals, your rewards need to be something that you want to do, can do, and are specific to you.  If you need more help targeting areas of change in your life and how to accomplish that change, a few visits with a trained counselor may help you identify your problems, set your goals, and achieve success and will also lend a bit of accountability.  Wishing you success with all of your goals for 2014!

Epstein, L. & Brown, L. B. (2002). Brief treatment and a new look at the task-centered approach. Boston, MA:  Allyn and Bacon.

Journal of Clinical Psychology. (2012). University of Scranton.Retrieved on December 20, 2013 from  http://www.statisticbrain.com/new-years-resolution-statistics/

Reid, W. J., & Fortune, A. E. (2002). The task-centered model.In A. R. Roberts & G. J. Greene (Eds.), Social workers’ desk reference (pp. 101-104). Oxford, NY: Oxford University Press.

 

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What Should You Do Now? Exposing Quarter Life Crisis

“What Should You Do Now?”

Exposing the Quarter-life Crisis

By:  Jenn Stepic M.A.  ​

​As you look across the auditorium, you notice the smiling faces of all you fellow graduates.  The last tassel is thrown and you hear the words, I now present to you the graduating class of 2013.  After the ceremony, you are greeted by your beaming parents and your great Uncle Harry reciting various cliché phrases, telling you the world is your oyster.  Suddenly, your mind is filled with endless possibilities and the realization that you are about to enter into the “real world.”

​We have all heard of the notion of the mid-life crisis, which often includes red Ferraris and returning to the care free days of one’s youth.  But for you twentysomething individuals, the time between adolescence and adulthood rears its ugly head.  In an effort to draw attention to this distinctive time in your life, authors Alexandra Robbins and Abby Wilner coined the term quarter-life crisis to address the unique challenges that befall the emerging adult (Robbins & Wilner, 2001).  What used to be thought of as “the best years of your life” is now being recognized as a time when you are forced to decide who you are, what you want, and how to achieve this.  Gone are the days of reading, writing, and arithmetic.  In between the college football games and frat parties, academia was a place where your goals were specific with the expectations for success defined by studying and earning honors.  After graduation; however, its decisions, decisions, decisions.  This transition into adulthood is marked by a series of firsts.  What direction should your career take?  Should you relocate in the pursuit of finding your dream job?  How will you make that first loan payment?  Should the quest for love be your first sought after goal?

​Transitioning between adolescence and adulthood is characterized by a unique set of challenges that at times, may lead to intense feelings of isolation, inadequacy, and stress.  While this quarter-life crisis may send your head spinning, keepin mind that this period of your life is defined by both your successes and setbacks (Robbins & Wilner, 2001).  So as you are sitting alone in front of your computer screen, researching job listings, apartment deals, and going back and forth whether or not joining a dating site is really what you want to do, remember that you are not alone.

​If you are struggling with unanswered questions, doubts, or insecurities regarding what direction your life should take, therapy could be the answer to your search for support.  Contact Healing Hidden Hurts at 888.349.1116 to schedule your first appointment.

Robbins, A., & Wilner, A. (2001). Quarterlife crisis: The unique challenges of life in your ​twenties. (First ed.) New York, NY: MJF Books.  

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Anxiously Striving for Perfection…

Anxiously Striving for Perfection

​I have known for several weeks that I needed to write a blog for our website, yet I continued to put it off.  I thought about the blog, made notes about ideas, and even did some research, but could not bring myself to actually finish an idea and turn it in.  As I continued to near the deadline, my anxiety and stress grew.  When the deadline came, I was forced to take a deep look at what was keeping me from writing this blog.  When I stopped to think about how I felt about writing the blog instead of focusing on the many possible topics and ways to approach it, I began to unravel the motivation behind my procrastination.  I was worried that it would not be good enough, that there would be mistakes, and that I would not get the perfect balance between interest, conversational style writing, and useful information.  I was worried that my colleagues would not like the topic I chose and that after years of technical writing, my style would be dry and boring.  I soon realized I was viewing this situation as a perfectionist and was apprehensive about trying to create the perfect piece of writing.

​Perfectionism, striving for perfection…It is an unachievable goal, but many would say, “What is wrong with striving for perfection? Does that not create better work ethics and higherachievements?”  Upon a first glance, it would look like some forms of perfectionism would be useful and adaptive.  To obtain high levels of performance in academics, athletics, and/or any other of life’s goals, some effort and planning must be put forth.  The issue arises when this desire to achieve and fear of failure start to affect your mental state, your ability to acknowledge and enjoy your success, your relationships.  Research has shown that even when perfectionism has pushed a person to high achievements, they often still feel inadequate and often have suffered much anxiety and depression along the way.  Those striving for perfection often fear failure and suffer from stress and worry, making it difficult to make decisions and move forward. Sometimes people become so immobilized by the fear of making the “wrong” decision that they avoid making all decisions, losing their opportunity to voice their opinions and show their preferences.  Perfectionism can also affect self-esteem and furthermore, if the idea of perfection is expected from other people, it can lead to difficulties obtaining and maintaining relationships.  If you feel that your achievements are never good enough, that a failure means that you are not a worthy person, that your friends and family cannot live up to your expectations, or even that you cannot live up to your expectations, a trained therapist can help.  If the fear of failure and the continuing struggle to obtain perfection keeps you up at night with worry and anxiety and/or if you find little pleasure in the successes that you have achieved, it may be time to seek help.

If you struggle with procrastination and/or perfectionism, Healing Your Hidden Hurts knows how to help guide you towards morforms of motivation. Call and talk with Michelle Barnett today 8883491116 *4 *2.

Benson, Etienne. (2003). The many faces of perfectionism. American Psychological AssociationMonitor, 34(10), 18-20.

Flett, G. L., & Hewitt, P. L. (2006). Positive versus negative perfectionism in psychopathology.Behavior Modification, 30(4), 472-495. doi:10.1177/0145445506288026

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